Posts Tagged 'Eye Candy'
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Sue Apple For Porn!
Some guy has finally found who is to blame for all the nasty, nasty porn on the internet: it's Apple. Specifically, it's Apple's internet-connected devices, which provide access to all that, mmmmm, nasty nasty porn, oooh, that's available on the internet. It's the same reason I sued Ford for my beer-belly, because they made it oh-so-easy to head down to the drive-thru liquor store rather than walking there. The bastards, making me fat and making this dude's dick all chafed. This is what happens when you let corporations run free.
Via.
Fruit Breasts!
There's a company making tank tops with fruit names across them, in hopes that ladies will help onlookers identify their breast size. Note that, due to the average size of fashion models, they couldn't even find anyone to properly fill out a "melons" shirt. Just watch out for the lady wearing one that says "DURIANS", that means "keep away!"
Via.
Penis Cake!
Like Wednesday, I really gotta stop blogging while hungry. It's not like I'm that picky: I'll eat a penis cake that looks like a penis. I know it's Betty Crocker and not a real penis. It's no big deal to me. But, when I take my penis cake to eat in the park, people get bitchy when you whip it out. This lady has figured out how to eat a penis cake without the police being called, and for that she's a hero.
Perfect Burger!
God damn it, I need to stop blogging while hungry. Caveman Circus shows us their award-winning hamburger recipe, and now I gotta figure out where I left my meat grinder. Tasty stuff.
Sex Toys Stolen!
What more heinous thing could happen than this? Several cars are broken into in one neighborhood, but one person had more than just CDs and pens from banks in their car: this woman had $500 in sex toys stolen from her trunk. Of course, they weren't "her" sex toys - they were for somebody else's bachelorette party.... riiiiighhhttt..... but if it was a bunch of stuff, it probably was really a bachelorette party. If she was doing right, $500 in good sex toys isn't really a whole lot. You can get a whole lot of stupid penis-shaped straws and blow-up sheep for $500, and it's no wonder it lived in her car. Nobody leaves the good stuff that far out of reach.
